prize

“Prize”

You’re one of the ones that everyone wants to be their one

Transplanting you into any era, you’d be the cause of wars

Skirmishes

Hopes, wishes, betrayals, schemes

All executed just to have you

But freely you’ve been given to me

No drawn sword, or plotting and executing

I just stood where I was

Alone, broken, sick, poisoned and poor

And you came right to me

Loving, trusting, holy, simple, complete, delicate, understanding

Like nothing I’ve ever let myself know

Afraid it was another trick

Or another test

Or some form of set up for the ultimate punishment – I secretly pushed you away

Loving and holding in the open

But there was no way I could trust that you would stay here

You came to me free of charge

Free of push and pull

Free of false perception

Free of warfare

How could that last?

Not for me – the undeserving

So before you could be taken away

Or walk away

Or be given away – I built a border that I could not let you cross

And that border became a fence of thorns

And I ran into that fence of thorns to show you that my love was real because I could suffer, hurt for you

And those wounds from that fence of thorns became rotted

And I ran to the witches’ house for healing

And she sent me to another witch, who sent me to another, and another

And running from one to the other, I looked at my body and saw that it was nearly destroyed

Nine and a half tenths of gone, you cried out to me as loud a cry as I’ve ever heard

And running right through the briars, and the poison, and the sharp wires – you risked life and limb one more time

Your life to save mine

I bled all over you

And you bled all over me

There was life nearly taken, but life to give in this tragedy

And our tears hit the ground; they pulled a seed apart within the earth

A seed that pushed a sprig through the dirt, up above the surface, reaching for the sun

A seed that will grow into a tender vine that will wrap itself around a strong oak

And become the strength of that tree, in time

Now there is a sense of realizing what you were all along

A free gift of love, grace, peace to me

Not because I’ve suffered (which I have)

Not because I’ve been betrayed (nearly to death)

Not because I’ve earned it (which I never could)

Not because I begged for something real (through tears)

Not because I walked through fear so strong it could kill (that valley of shadows – I’ve been there)

Just because I am loved

And I know the only way to be the same gift back to you

Is to let you be who you are to me

To trust you

Stop dancing and performing

Stop talking

Put my hands down at my sides and just come to you – give myself to you

Like I am, who I really am

I guess it’s hard to believe that this is the me that you’d really want

No act; no lights and smoke

No ropes and wheel pulleys moving the scene

No costume or makeup

No stage dressing – no details

Maybe you feel the same

I know we can silence those fears for each other

I’ll lose myself in you

And I’ll take you as my own prize, forever