Sunday, September 18, 2011

nothing good happens after midnight


“nothing good happens after midnight”

She feels like she needs to protect herself now
Dad was never around
                And mom?
Well mom was there
                But so was everyone else

The smell of cigarette smoke
                And Old Milwaukee cans knocked over
And that sweet, biting odor of pot that snaked its way around to her room
That’s how it all started out

Until she got a little older
Then her breasts were pushing on her shirt
                And it seemed like everyone turned to notice
Her thighs grew and her butt stuck out
                More than before

Now, after some time,  it was a chemical smell
                That made you choke
And the rap, rap, rap of the razors edge
                On a class picture frame
And the sweet, biting odor of pot was gone now
And there weren’t as many others there either
The ones who stayed were more “selective”
                And they had “selective” tastes
Special needs

And she could hear mom whispering outside of her door
Hissing instructions
                Criteria

She would turn over to face the wall
The neon turquoise numbers on her clock
                Almost always read, two forty one am

Nothing good happens after midnight,
                She’d tell herself
As the gentle squeak would come of the door handle opening slowly
The light from the “family” room would spill into the hall
She could see them silhouetted
Like hungry monsters
                But these fuckers didn’t live under the bed in obscurity
No, they walked right through the God-damned door

 Sometimes through tear filled eyes,
                She would look over at her mother in the doorway
Arms folded, eyes closed
Tapping her foot in anticipation of the rap, rap, rap
                 On the glass picture frame
And the chemical smell that would make her choke

The transaction complete – soaked in sweat and crawling with the ugly
                She would turn to one side and vomit into her trashcan

She tried to run away a few times – but she had nowhere to go

She tried to ask for help – but the courage failed her every time,
                At the last second

She tried to scrub it off in the shower
She rubbed the skin raw
She tried to cut it out of her skin
                But they found her before she could drain it all away

So with no hope left at all – she took a hammer from school one day
When the door opened that night,
                Her eyes were already opened

It took the cleaning crew three days in her room
They were on a tight deadline, so they had to work very late
                On the third day
But they made sure to get it all done before eleven fifty nine pm

Everyone knows that nothing good happens after midnight

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