angst

“angst”

I remember when punk rock wasn’t cool

When you pushed the line

                Proud to be the minority, instead of the majority

When women’s rights and corporate greed

                And racism and senseless acts were the enemy

And we’d raise bulwarks against them

Huddled in bedrooms and coffee shops

And on benches down near the ocean

Sharpening our swords

Practicing accuracy in the archery that was our letter writing and brilliant word play

Dueling and training for the fight

The clash of ideas

The bright flash of sparks

The excitement of a future as part of SOMETHING

Something small

But real

It made me proud to be different

Artistic

So unlike the meatheads and the drunks

                And the surfers and everyone else

Time it seemed, along with life and the duty that befalls it

                Stripped away slowly at the cause

Not much time passed and the verses stopped flowing

The angry, poignant music stopped playing

The shirts were all tucked in

The pants neatly ironed and creased appropriately

The car went from a rusty hooded hatchback to a four door sedan

The lights on stage faded

The blue pill was swallowed

The fear of failure snuck in

The pain of failure snuck in

The promises to God, country, wife, family, children, self

And now comes the question of a lifetime

The question whose answer will define my LIFE

Can I live in THIS WORLD

                But still be ALIVE?

Feeling and standing

And having a voice

And turning off the TV once in a while

Reading a little more

Writing a little more

Doing a little more

Why can’t I have it all?

Everyone else does

                So why not me?